kids these days

Things I don't understand: kids, the twenty-first century, kids born in the twenty-first century.

I got an e-mail this morning from my nine-year old nephew, asking for my user name so that he could add me on Facebook. The subject title was hilariously misspelled, calling me "anti" instead of aunty Nadeen, so I totally thought it was spam at first. Anti Nadeen - sounds like a libido repellant.

I almost died sitting in my office chair. Call me a spacey, negligent aunt, but I didn't realise my baby could write e-mails! Okay, so most nine-year olds are perfectly literate, but I still see my little darling sucking thumb in his onesies. I left home when he was still fairly young and just learning how to read and act like, you know, a real person. Next thing you know I'm in America and the kid's learnin' how to use the dang old Internet!!

I feel so sad looking at his profile. I've always avoided putting up pictures of my family on my wall or desk, or web-camming with them, because it's easier for me to deal with the distance when I don't have their happy -or, in my mom's case, stern Arab - faces beaming down from the walls. Now I have a picture of my nephew with missing teeth and my living room in the background on Facebook.

Which brings me to one of my first reactions - a general rule of thumb for Facebook is you probably shouldn't be a member if you don't have all your goddamn teeth in yet.

My baby nephew has requested me as a Facebook friend. I still can't get over it. I don't know if I'm old or crazy or a sad combination of both, but I know now that I can't have kids. Look at me! My sister's son learns how to use the Internet and I devolve into a blubbering old codger. What'll I do with my own kids' milestones? I can't deal with it, y'all. Allergies be damned, I'm starting my pet cat collection tomorrow.